


You, Me and CQC

by Espanglish



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Because everything I've read is pretty much angst between these two, Fluff, JUST, M/M, OOC, SO MUCH FLUFF, So I needed to do something about it, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4471706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Espanglish/pseuds/Espanglish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where Big Boss and Kaz retire to Alaska, raise the Twin Snakes and own some huskies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I... have no idea. 
> 
> I told my friend I'll make a happy collection of AU one shots because we were hurting over BBKaz, so yeah. She also came up with the title. Thanks, Em!
> 
> Let's pretend anything TPP-onwards didn't happen, so BB and Kaz retired to Alaska to raise the twins and decided to adopt some huskies, and they're practically married.
> 
> Also, it's heavily implied that Eli in TPP *spoiler ahead* is Liquid Snake so for now, the twins will be referred to as David and Eli. If this is to be untrue when TPP comes out, I'll change it.

A Proposition

Leaving the kitchen, Snake entered the softly lit hallway and looked towards the open doorway towards the end. Sat in the dark save for the small desk lamp, Kaz sat hunched over some papers, aviators balanced on the tip of his nose while he scribbled something down. 

Snake walked towards their shared office, or more like Kaz's office as Snake hardly used the room, keeping his footsteps quiet as he approached. Standing in the doorway, Snake watched Kaz for a moment, taking in the low light casting shadows across his face and playing against his golden hair. Kaz didn't move or even acknowledge that Snake was there, far too engrossed in whatever he was writing - something about poisonous flora?

His voice deep yet soft as not to startle Kaz, Snake stated, "Kaz, we're going out tomorrow."

Kaz poised his pen over the piece of paper as he stopped writing, looking up at Snake with a raised eyebrow. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of nose.

"Oh? Where are you taking us?" he asked, the corners of his lips lifted slightly in amusement.

Snake shuffled his feet a little, trying to be subtle as he crossed his arms.

"Without the kids," he replied, voice gruff.

He leant against the doorframe and swallowed the lump in his throat. Subtle, of course. 

Kaz put the pen down and leaned back in his chair, damaged blue eyes looking at Snake behind his glasses. His eyes roamed over Snake's body, taking in the stiffness of his shoulders and arms despite the relaxed pose against the doorframe. His face was passive, his single blue eye looking back at him.

Kaz blinked once, "Well, who's going to look after them? Where are we going?" he asked. It wasn't often he and Snake went out without David or Eli. Usually, the twins would accompany them wherever they went.

Snake fidgeted against the doorframe, eye darting away from Kaz. Despite the dim lighting, a blush settled across Snake's cheeks and the bridge of his nose. 

Kaz blinked again at Snake's sudden shyness. He was not a man who easily blushed.

The blond's eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the display and then with sudden realisation, Kaz's mouth widened into a grin.

"You're taking me on a date, aren't you?" Kaz smirked, an eyebrow raised smugly.

Snake blanched and snapped, "I never said that!"

Although he clearly looked uncomfortable, Kaz laughed at Snake, eyes crinkling at the corners in mirth.

"You're totally taking me on a date." Kaz's voice held that young, enthusiastic tone that had charmed Snake all those years ago. It was nice to hear it again, although Snake didn't particularly appreciate that Kaz was _laughing_ at him.

Looking away from Kaz, Snake stuck his bottom lip out slightly. Snake was also a man who did not pout.

He heard Kaz's chair scrape across the carpet, footfalls soft against the plushness of the material as Kaz walked towards him. 

Snake pushed off the doorframe when Kaz stood in front of him, close enough that he could feel his body heat. His single eye looked into the brown lenses of Kaz's aviators, just barely seeing the blue of his eyes, the corners crinkled with affection. He looked down at the plush set of lips smiling gently at him.

Kaz placed his hand on Snake's bicep, fingers wrapping around the muscle there. His other hand rested on his shoulder then slowly caressed its way to the crook of Snake's neck, and then around the back where long fingers rested in his brown hair at the nape. 

Kaz closed the distance, his nose bumping Snake's, lips hovering over the other's.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it..." Kaz murmured, voice husky.

Closing the distance between them, Kaz pressed his lips against Snake's and felt as the other man unwound his crossed arms to wrap them around Kaz's waist, pressing their bodies flush against each other.

They stayed there for some time, trading pecks and murmurs of nothing's nobody else would ever hear them say, until a disgusted "ew, gross!" was exclaimed behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realised I don't know how to write dad!Big Boss. So have some awkward!dad!BB trying to comfort his Little Snek, David. 
> 
> Also, Eli's a shit and Kaz really likes shopping for home decor.

Pillow Talk

Snake stared idly in front of him, the rest of the aisle a blur as he rested his forearms on the handlebar of the trolley. Beside him, Kaz was looking at the array of desk lamps on the shelves, one to go in their shared office as Eli broke the last one while chasing David around the desk, catching the cord with his foot and bringing it crashing down onto the floor.

And here they were. It wasn't often they went shopping for home decor, although every now and again Kaz insisted they go because he wanted their home to feel more... homely.

Snake heard Kaz hum as he looked at a price tag, the sound muffled under the scarf wrapped around his neck and chin that Snake bought him for Christmas last year. He was bundled up in his navy overcoat, winter combat trousers and boots, along with that ridiculous red woolly hat with the bobble on the end.

It looked cute. Not that Snake told him that. Kaz probably wouldn't shut up about it otherwise.

"What do you think, John? $9.99 too much for a lamp?" Kaz asked him, browsing at a fancy stainless steel lamp.

Snake hummed, not particularly paying attention, his single eye staring ahead. He briefly caught sight of a blond head running past the end of the aisle.

He blinked when he heard Kaz place a box into the trolley next to his cane propped inside the cart. It was the $9.99 one.

Kaz gripped his gloved hand onto the trolley for leverage, signalling for Snake to start moving. He did as he was told, pushing himself off the handle and slowly moving forward.

They browsed for a little while, or Kaz did, while Snake quietly pushed the trolley, making sure not to jolt the other man in case he lost his footing.

He saw Eli come up beside the cart, cheeks pink from running around, and grabbing Kaz's cane to swing it around like a light saber. They watched the second Star Wars movie a few nights ago, or the twins and Kaz did while Snake fell asleep during the first 20 minutes. Ever since, Eli took Kaz's cane at every chance he got, swinging it around then proceeding to hit David with it. It always ended in tears.

Eli ran ahead, cane flying through the air as he _vrmm vrmmed_ his way down the aisle.

Snake's brow furrowed as he realised David wasn't with his twin. He looked around, eye scanning across the aisle, turning to look behind him. Still no David.

Snake swivelled his head back around to look at Eli, frowning at him.

"Eli, where's your brother?" He asked, voice sharp.

Eli didn't stop his twirling of the cane when he answered, voice indifferent, "The hell should I know?"

Snake's frown deepened at the answer, and the attitude, his son gave him. Before he could say anything, Kaz's voice called next to him, tone firm.

"Watch your language."

Eli stopped mid-swing and turned to looked at Kaz, his blond hair wild around his face and lips pulled up into a sneer.

"What, hell? That isn't even a _swear word_! If I said _fu-_ ”

“ _Eli!_ ”

Kaz frowned hard at Eli, staring him down, challenging him to carry on that sentence. _One more word and that cane goes round your legs._

Snake watched the silent interaction for a few moments, taking in Kaz's hard face underneath his ridiculous hat and sunglasses and then towards Eli's scrunched up face, cane held up as if ready to strike. Eli's gloved hands tightened around the handle as he poked his tongue out, twirling around to carry on hitting his makeshift light saber through the air.

Kaz huffed beside Snake and muttered a quick _brat_ under his breath. He turned back to whatever he was looking at.

“Kaz,” Snake started. He looked around him again to check if David had popped up. Nope.

“Hmm?”

“David – I can't find him,” Snake stated, his voice gruff with worry.

Kaz whipped his head around, his eyes crinkling in amusement and affection at the tone of Snake's voice. Snake wasn't a man who particularly worried, nor would show if he was, but Kaz couldn't keep the smile off his face at how adorable, for lack of a better word, Snake was being. When it came to David there was protectiveness Snake felt for him, however awkward he felt about it but it was there all the same.

“Snake,” Kaz called but got no response.

“ _John_ , he's fine. Listen, remember the last time we came here?” Kaz asked. Snake turned to him and nodded although he looked confused. “Can you remember where we found him?”

Snake blinked at Kaz's little grin. He nodded again, still confused. “Erh, he was down the pillow aisle...”

Kaz nodded once, that small smile still on his lips.

“Then I think that's where he'll be. Knowing Eli, he's probably said or done something to upset him.” Kaz said then added, “Go and find him, John. I'll be alright.”

Snake let go of the trolley but before he left to find David he walked towards Eli and without a word he took Kaz's cane from him, ignoring the whine and the “hey old man, give it back!” from behind him. He returned the cane to Kaz, who nudged him in thanks then left the two blonds to search for David.

 

\--

 

Snake passed the ends of different aisles until he found the one he was looking for, this one full of a variety of colours and patterns, shapes and sizes of cushions and pillows. Too much and far too bright for Snake's liking, if he were being honest. He trekked slowly down the aisle, ignoring the other customers milling about as he looked for David. There was no sign of him, no sign of his trademark bandana tied around his forehead that Snake had given him last year, nor his oversized blue coat.

Feeling dread beginning to rise within him at the thought that _his son was lost_ Snake's pace quickened, the aisle seeming never-ending. _Why is the aisle so long? Why does it have so many cushions?!_

Snake stopped and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He was a legendary soldier, retired, yes, but still legendary. If he could tackle world threats and infiltrate bases by himself then he sure as hell could find his son among a bunch of ugly cushions.

He turned and slowly made his way back down the aisle, scanning everywhere in sight. He stopped when he spotted a small pair of booted feet sticking out from between two, excessively large green pillows on the shelf. Snake sighed quietly, relief washing over him. He stood in front of the boot-wearing-cushions and found David wedged in between them, his head resting on his knees which were pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them.

Kneeling down in front of David, Snake poked him lightly on the head, the red of his prosthetic hand gleamed dully under the store's artificial lighting.

“Hey,” he greeted.

David didn't reply although his body tensed when he felt a finger prod his head.

Snake sighed again and pushed his hand into David's brown hair, stroking lightly through the strands. He couldn't feel the softness of David's hair between his fingers but he could imagine how it felt, like he knew how it felt when he would use his other hand. He felt a tremor run through David's body, the mittens he was wearing clenched around his legs tighter.

He continued stroking the younger twin's hair, ignoring anyone who could be looking his way, and quietly asked, “Hey kid, you going to tell me what's wrong?”

Snake stopped his stroking and waited for David to acknowledge him. When he finally did, he looked up from his knees, his eyes puffy. He sniffled then rubbed at his eyes. Snake removed his hand, feeling a little awkward when David looked up at him with his big, blue eyes rimmed red with shed tears. Snake looked back at him and remembered when Kaz once told him how much David looked like him. _He has your eyes, John._ How much David reminded Kaz of him, how David picked up some of Snake's mannerisms and quirks that had Kaz laughing like he used to during their MSF days. David was so much like him it made Snake _ache_. Yet he also wasn't.

When David still didn't answer Snake pushed aside the cushion and crawled onto the shelf next to David, his larger booted feet sticking out as he pulled his knees up towards his chest. He had to duck his head to avoid banging it on the shelf above but he guessed it was no different to when he sat under cardboard boxes. He was used to the ache that settled at the base of his neck from keeping his head low.

David stared at him with wide, blinking eyes. “D-Dad?”

Snake was silent for a moment as he watched a couple pass by them with confused faces. He disregarded their expressions then looked down at his son. “You going to tell me what's going on?” he asked.

David bit his lip and looked down at his knees then replied, “Eli was mean to me.”

“What'd he do?”

David fidgeted with his mittens and sniffed, then quietly said, “He said I was stupid and he was the better twin, and that I was adopted and you and papa hated me.”

The words rushed out all in one, muffled slightly from his knees but Snake caught it all. His eye squinted in trying to understand Eli's logic that David was adopted because _really?_ But Snake didn't understand Eli most of the time anyway, the kid was wild at best and would say anything to rile his brother.

Snake felt another wave of awkwardness wash over him. He wasn't great at comforting either of his sons, although usually it was to comfort David rather than Eli but the older twin had his moments. Kaz was better at being the supportive one while Snake was better at scolding them but Kaz wasn't here now. So, like he did earlier, Snake placed his hand on the crown of David's head and stroked lightly through his hair. He felt David lean against his side.

“Your brother's a bully,” he started hesitantly. His voice was quiet but he meant every word, “But he's wrong, you aren't stupid. You're a smart kid, David.” He paused, trying to find the words to cheer him up. He nudged David's side gently with his own, rocking their bodies slightly and said, voice light as he could manage, “Remember when you scored 91 out of 100 on your English test? Kaz was so proud of you...” Snake stopped as he felt his throat grow tight, “ _I_ was so proud of you. I- I am proud of you, David. You're a good kid.”

Snake looked out in front him, his jaw clenched, feeling a swell of emotions coil through him that he wasn't used to feeling but he felt so much more ever since the twins began living with Kaz and him. He felt David lean harder into him and unconsciously, Snake pulled David towards him in a one armed hug, prosthetic hand still resting in his hair.

They stayed there for a moment until Snake let go and crawled out from the shelf, ignoring passers-by tutting under their breath at his uncouth display.

“C'mon, Kaz will be wondering where we got to.” Snake commented. He extended his hand, the real one, and took David's smaller one and pulled him up.

He didn't let go of David's hand as they made their way out of the aisle and he didn't miss the wide smile and ruddy cheeks on his son's face.

 

–-

 

They found Kaz and Eli down the Christmas aisle with enough colourful ornaments it made Snake's head spin. Eli was pushing the trolley with a sour look on his face while Kaz looked like he was debating on getting the rainbow Christmas lights or the plain white ones. _Didn't we already buy some new ones last year?_

When they reached the pair, David let go of Snake's hand and rushed to the trolley to peak inside.

Snake sidled up next to Kaz. The blond turned towards him, a knowing smirk on his face.

“What took you so long?” he asked.

“Oh, y'know... just talking to the kid.” Snake shrugged.

Kaz grinned and nudged him, leaning into Snake's side. Snake wrapped an arm loosely around Kaz's waist, pulling the other man into him, the side where Kaz no longer had an arm tucking against his chest and underarm.

“You sat in the cushions with him, didn't you?” Kaz quipped, his smile widening.

Snake stared down at Christmas lights on the shelf, cursing their existence then sniffed once.

“... no.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of upping the ratings for this because I'm planning to write a smutty one-shot soon. Hopefully.


End file.
